Breaking News: Giant Pink Bear Hosts “Hire & Fire” Event in Pontiac—Because Who Needs Job Security When You’ve Got Ganja?

Pontiac, MI – Picture this: a giant, 8-foot-tall pink bear named Mel, straight from Bearijuana, leading the charge at downtown Pontiac’s latest event, “Hire & Fire.” Mel’s mission? To get you a job and get you blazed—all on the same day. And the best part? It’s exactly as ridiculous as it sounds.

Alongside Mel, a star-studded lineup of cannabis industry heavyweights—Pleasantrees, Olswell Cannabis, Rkive Cannabis, Caliblaze, North Coast, and Nature’s Remedy—are joining the fun, handing out both job offers and some premium green. That’s right: the only thing burning at this event is the fire you’re about to smoke.

“This is what employment in 2024 should look like,” said Mel, as she pulled out a joint the size of a small child and handed it to an eager job seeker. “You get hired, you get high, and if you don’t like the gig—well, you’ll be too blazed to care.”

The event kicked off with Mel leading a chant of “Get hired! Get fired! Get high…err!” to a crowd of wide-eyed, slightly confused participants. People who thought they were walking into a normal job fair quickly realized they were in for something… different. Interviews were conducted at lightning speed, because, as Mel reminded everyone, “You can’t get fired if you’re not hired yet!”

Pleaantrees was busy rolling up resumes (literally) as part of their “Paperwork & Puff” initiative, making sure applicants got the job and a perfectly rolled joint. “We’re keeping it professional,” said Pleaantrees’ spokesperson, barely holding back laughter. “And by professional, I mean we’re handing out pre-rolleds like candy at a birthday party.”

Olswell Cannabis stepped it up with their “Termination Station,” where once you’re hired, you’re immediately fired. And by fired, we mean escorted to a luxurious smoke lounge, where Rkive Cannabis supplied free dab rigs for all. “Honestly, this is the only time you’ll be happy to be fired,” said one attendee while exhaling a cloud that could rival a weather system.

Meanwhile, Mel, now wearing a party hat, was bouncing from booth to booth, giving motivational speeches like, “Don’t worry if you can’t remember your job title tomorrow. It’s all about the vibe.”

Caliblaze and North Coast Cannabis teamed up to host a session called “Blaze Through Your Career,” where participants were encouraged to light up and seriously consider their next career move (after the munchies subsided, of course). “Listen, we’re all about work-life balance,” said North Coast’s CEO, passing out edibles shaped like tiny briefcases. “And sometimes that balance is… well, mostly life. And a lot of ganja.”

The cherry on top? Nature’s Remedy’s “Cannabis Career Coach,” a helpful little booth where you could take a hit and receive sage career advice like, “Dude, just chill,” and “Honestly, you’d be great at anything, bro.”

As the event rolled on, it became clear that no one was leaving without a job—or at least a handful of complimentary weed products. The atmosphere was electric, or rather, smoked out.

“I came here to get hired but I’m pretty sure I’m leaving higher,” said one participant, who hadn’t quite grasped what he was hired for but didn’t seem too bothered by it.

As Mel the Pink Bear prepared to close the event, he gave one final message to the hazy crowd. “Remember folks, in life, it’s not about whether you get hired or fired. It’s about whether you’re high or higher.”

And with that, the crowd cheered, lit up, and wandered off into the Pontiac sunset—probably forgetting what jobs they applied for but confident that, for one day at least, they were employed, fired, and thoroughly elevated all at once.