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Klaus Schwab Triggers ASMR Giving Speech at Common Citizen Provisioning Center



Klaus Schwab, founder and executive chairman of the World Economic Forum and author of several books on global economics, gave a speech today at the Common Citizen Provisioning Center regarding global economics. Many people from all over the state and region heard about the event and since they had nothing else to do they decided to go and see the economist in action.


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Klaus Schwab’s talk today at Common Citizen Provisioning Center was anything but exciting. His monotone voice and droning on about global economics put everyone in the room to sleep almost instantaneously- the speech was so boring that some people who fell asleep literally died from boredom.  His talk was so humdrum and in such a monotone that one Genessee County resident Sheldon Neeley actually jumped out of the first-story window falling 1 meter into his death landing in a flowerbed of newly flowering tulips.



It’s been a few weeks since the controversial visit by the self-proclaimed “economic hitman” and it seems like the effects are still being felt.  33 people were literally bored to death during his talk, but the majority fell asleep.  The dispensary is now facing protests from angry customers who say that they were robbed of their time and money.

Interestingly enough, Klaus claims that he had no intention of putting anyone to sleep.  He says that he simply has a very mundane speaking style and that his content isn’t particularly stimulating.  Regardless of intent, it seems clear that this man has a powerful ability to put people to sleep.



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