The Oil Plug is Michigan’s Best Cannabis Tabloid News Source
Michigan’s Best Tabloid News is on a mission to offer the highest quality investigative journalism, slickest reports, and the trashiest articles about the cannabis industry in Michigan. Loaded with the wittiest commentary and exclusive offers from the Michigan cannabis businesses state-wide. The Oil Plug Michigan Cannabis Tabloid News offers some of the most creative paths to prosperity with your cannabis business. Our aim is to entertain the shit-out-of-you and provide a fun way to receive cannabis promotions. But honestly, regardless of how successful we are, we are doing this because we have a blast doing it, and this is how we choose to spend our time. We love cannabis and stories, and since cannabis gives us our stories we decided to share them with you., We make up stories for your entertainment and enjoyment. In these days of questionable journalism, count on TOP Michigan Cannabis Tabloid News to exploit the mother-lovin-truth. Trust The Oil Plug with all your concerns, because we are here for you.
The Oil Plug Michigan’s Best Tabloid News has the most educated, loyal, and dedicated readers in the history of news. Throughout history, the smartest people in Michigan have been loyal readers. In fact, many people have told us that the governor of Michigan often reads The Oil Plug Tabloid News while seated on the throne in the Governor’s Mansion. Others tell us their brain grows every time they read a Michigan cannabis tabloid news story. We take great joy with our work exploiting the Michigan cannabis industry and hope you do too. Learn more about our services such as listing your cannabis business on the map and making your business a complete page presenting the promotions.
Our innovative advantage is exemplified when your business has had a unique cover story written about it. Developing rich imaginative content around your Michigan Cannabis Business is our clever way of headlining you into trending status. We write our tabloids packed with rich SEO and keep the scoop of clever and artistically compelling stories continually flowing under new eyeballs. We hunt and report new and loyal customers continually sending them directly to your business’s sales page increasing viewership. We put our money where the mouth is by reporting analytics and evaluate increases with activity.
Now offering competition slander stories at a discounted rate. You could say that we offer dirty deeds done dirt cheap. We will destroy your competition as you sleep well at night knowing that we are doing the dirty work for you. We will crush your opposition by slandering malicious defamation rumors effectively assassinating their character and stirring controversy about your enemies enticing outrage! Don’t get caught trashing the opposition when we can do it for you. Get started today or maybe it’s time for a 3 story full campaign.
Michigan’s Best Tabloid News Team
Editor & Chief
About Bill Azin
Bill Azin is an escaped mental patient who lives in the world of stories. He has been seen at large in Michigan where he was genetically engineered in the ’80s for military experiments. Use great caution when approaching Bill because he is known to bite and spit. During the fall and winter months in Michigan, you will often see him launching “snot rockets” pretty much anywhere. He thinks of the world as his playground and you are only alive for his entertainment. Nothing is real to Bill, and nothing is off-limits. He knows no boundaries and very often does not make any sense. If you start to develop the idea that you understand him: please seek mental counseling as soon as possible. If you find yourself attracted to Bill call your family doctor and seek psychiatric evaluations. Bill Azin is similar to a chameleon but different than a rockstar. His diet consists of carrots, cannabis, and crayons but usually feeds with a variety of females after the sun has gone down.
About Avet Eran
He is a former road commissioner for the US Army retired and now turned into a WordPress wizard. He is single with no children and looking very seriously for a bilingual mate. He hopes that she speaks Spanish and English. Avet is a dynamic advertisement designer. His creative potential knows no bounds and can make your cannabis business really look like something phenomenal. He is bilingual in English and Spanish so please reach out with your cannabis business advertisements in either Spanish or English.
About Mary J.Slings
Mary is a multiple award-winning news columnist from The Weekly World News that has now joined forces with The Oil Plug on a relentless journey to tell the news how it should be told with no filter and no discretion. Mary is known for saying how she feels without any regard for anyone’s feelings. She is a very dangerous arsonist that has a penchant for destruction. She is known for “slinging shit” earning her the name “MJ SHITSLINGER”. Don’t let her on your bad side because she can be downright brutal! Mary can be your best friend and your worst enemy. She is the executive producer of the PIF Forward smear campaigns. Don’t mess with her!
|Carp A. Diem
#1 News Anchor
About Carp A. Diem
Carp is a very motivated radioactive grass carp from the Flint water refinery near Vehicle City Social in Flint Michigan. He emerged from the reservoir next to the trailer park a few years back and after he found the cannabis club he has been an active member for quite a few years now. Carp is often seen at smoking clubs in flint. He is our best reporter at Michigan’s Best Tabloid News. He has aspirations to take over the world someday.
Insightful News Reporter
About Guru Knowsall
Guru is a certified know-it-all. He was certified after a bunch of know-it-alls certified him. We know he knows not only because he tells us so, but also that he sort of floats above the ground in a kind of levitate sort of way. He has insightful news reports laced with spiritual truths and marvelous meaning. He lives up in a cave somewhere in the hills up north Michigan.
End Of The World News
About Apocalyptic Preacher
The end is near and you better get busy is the mantra of the apocalyptic preacher. He is always willing to shovel information and create excitement among your consciousness. If you need motivation, the apocalyptic preacher will deliver.
About Furious Farmer
He is pissed off about something and everything. He is definitely constipated and probably has an ulcer the size of a basketball in his giant belly. He is a cannabis farmer who has not come to understand what cannabis is trying to teach him. So arrogantly he tries to always be fighting and claiming to know it all. He is really just a jackass pinhead that is limited by his beliefs. The unfortunate situation has been granted a small segment purely for entertainment pieces and to be made fun of.
About Ghost Budtender
Long ago before cannabis prohibition, this unknown budtender was tragically murdered by unknown circumstances leaving him in a state which cannot be defined. He magically pops up when cannabis is in the air to give reports on cannabis products he has found at local provisioning centers in Michigan. He really loves cannabis for multiple generations and so we trust his opinion on just about everything. One thing is for sure; he loves to smoke down. If you ever see him make sure and smoke down with him. He is really funny.
Cannabis Aficionado Reporter
About Pot Head
I met Pot Head at LA Cafe in Waterford. We were looking for a 9th cast member and sure enough, we clicked. We became fast friends over smoking a bowl in the parking lot and he has decided to sit in as the 9th anchor until we have a more available reporter. Pot has to work remotely from LA Cafe limiting the cover stories he can be called out to. And since Mr. Head does not drive it is tough to get around as a Pot Head. If you are interested in the Pot Heads reporter spot please contact us.
Michigan’s Best Tabloid News Provisioning Center Marketing and advertising is fun playing with theoilplug.com We are sharing with the Michigan Cannabis Community funny and absurd news stories packed with education and satire loaded with local deals, discounts, promotions for provisioning centers all across Michigan. Our technology geo-locates the user and instantly shows them the nearest provisioning centers and cannabis deliveries near them while only displaying the deals, discounts, promotions they want to know about. Consider many of the marketing stories available only on theoilplug.com