God Appears Over Pure Lapeer Provisioning Center
When the budtenders started taking off their clothes at Pure Lapeer Provisioning Center this morning, the staff began to wonder why it was so hot in the building. One of the first customers to arrive came into the store and announced that “God” might be coming in on the clouds of heaven just above the cannabis store.
The head budtender went outside to see what the fuss was about when he immediately went down to one knee in reverence to lord god almighty. He could barely look up, frozen in time in a bowing position to the large deity. God’s opulence and majesty came in the clouds over Lapeer in an illustrious rainbow fog covering the whole town.
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The manager of the store ran out in a frenzy hoping to damn some irritating customers and ex-boyfriends but immediately began to grovel while bowing down and pathetically whining “I’m not worthy, please lord forgive me!
God perturbed and irritated at her chaotic inner soul life responds in a fatherly tone. “oh don’t grovel, one thing that I can’t stand is people groveling, and another thing; don’t apologize! Every time I try to talk to someone it’s ” sorry this, forgive me that, I’m not worthy!” I’m sick of this.
I have come to bestow your purpose among men. I am assigning you this task to make an example in these dark times. I am looking for the Holy Grail Kush cannabis strain and it is your sacred purpose is to make it your quest for the Holy Grail Kush.
The manager responds with a humble tone “yes dear lord, that’s a great idea”
God roars out loud with echoes of thunder “of course, it is” which could be heard across the nation. “I am God, of course, I have the best ideas.”
