The Exhibit Cannabis Co. Unveils ‘Time-Traveling Terpenes’

In a groundbreaking event that left even the most seasoned tokers scratching their heads, The Exhibit Cannabis Co. announced the launch of its latest product: Time-Traveling Terpenes. The company claims these terpenes are not just for flavor but can warp the space-time continuum — all in the convenience of a pre-rolled joint.

“Picture this,” said Exhibit’s head scientist, Professor Bud Greenstein, while puffing on what appeared to be an ordinary-looking blunt. “You take one hit, and suddenly, you’re in Woodstock ’69, jamming with Jimi Hendrix. Or maybe you find yourself in ancient Egypt, debating pyramid construction with the Pharaohs. It’s a real trip, literally.”

The launch event, hosted in an undisclosed location that mysteriously appeared on Google Maps for only 42 minutes, attracted a crowd of over 4,200 curious cannabis enthusiasts. Attendees reported seeing flashes of historical figures wandering through the aisles—George Washington was spotted comparing CBD tinctures, Cleopatra was observed picking out indica strains, and an animated Benjamin Franklin briefly lectured on the finer points of hydroponics.

One customer, visibly shaken after testing a sample, recounted his experience. “Man, I thought I was walking into The Exhibit, but the next thing I know, I’m in 2069, surrounded by flying cars, and Elon Musk is asking me if I prefer sativa or hybrid! It was wild!”

While some skeptics have dismissed the claims as marketing ploys, others have embraced the notion that cannabis could bend time. Local historian Mary Jane Leafblower shared her experience: “I tried the ‘Mayan Dream’ strain and immediately found myself at the peak of an ancient ritual where they were smoking… something. I don’t know what it was, but I’m pretty sure I just uncovered a lost civilization.”

But not everyone is on board. The Michigan Bureau of Chronic -Regulation has issued a stern warning, urging consumers to “exercise caution when engaging in multi-temporal experiences.” They are particularly concerned about “paradoxical side effects,” such as accidentally meeting your future self or creating an alternate timeline where disco never died.

Despite the controversy, The Exhibit Cannabis Co. seems unphased, with plans to release a new line of “Galactic Gummies” rumored to provide interstellar travel, and “Quantum Kush,” which purportedly splits your consciousness into infinite versions of yourself—one of which might even remember where you left your keys.

For now, The Exhibit remains the go-to destination for those looking to transcend time, space, and maybe reality itself. Just don’t forget to set a timer for the future.