WOMAN MARRIES PHONE | Boyce Day REPORTS | Weekly World News
“Who Knows Me Better?” She Says
A Michigan woman says that she never had a good relationship—until the smartphone era. But the love connection that finally made her happy wasn’t a man or woman she met texting on her phone. It was her phone!
Melissa Ingle, 29, says that she always liked phones, but that when she got a new phone last August, something was different. “I knew it right away,” she said. “The first time I pressed a button to open an app, I got a little dizzy. It wasn’t something I had felt before.”
Within a few weeks, she was telling her friends that she loved her new phone. “Most of them laughed it off,” she said. “Only one friend, a guy I dated for a little while a few years ago, seemed to understand. He would have drinks with me and I would be distant but when he would call, he would say that I sounded…what was the word…amorous. He’s the one who figured it out—I was amorous not because of him but because of the phone.”
PROPOSAL TIME
The relationship deepened. “We really spent all our time together,” said Ingle. “My phone was with me when I went to sleep at night, when I woke up in the morning, when I drove when I brushed my teeth. I even bought a waterproof case so I could have it with me in the shower.”
After two months, Ingle proposed to her phone. “I had to say ‘Siri,’” she said, “you know, to get it to answer, but that’s not my phone’s name. I don’t want to say what the name actually is. Too private.”
Ingle and her phone exchanged vows in a small private ceremony in her car last Tuesday. “I said ‘I do’ and my phone repeated it right back to me,” she said.
They plan to honeymoon upstate. “People have been making all kinds of jokes about the vibrate setting,” she said. “That’s crass, I think, though maybe not inaccurate. At the very least I know I’ll be using the Do Not Disturb function.”
The couple is registered at Best Buy.
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