420 Tabloids

Little Green Aliens Invade Earth, Create “High” Demand for Toilet Paper

Extraterrestrial entrepreneurs launch unique intergalactic business venture

In an unexpected turn of events, little green aliens from a distant planet have infiltrated our humble planet Earth. But instead of planning world domination or seeking interstellar peace, these otherworldly visitors have shocked the world by purchasing vast quantities of toilet paper and using it for their newfound cannabis cigarette business.

It all began when the extraterrestrial entrepreneurs discovered Earth’s love for both toilet paper and cannabis. Having observed our planet from afar, they concluded that our obsession with these two commodities presented a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for intergalactic profit.

These enterprising aliens, known as the “Toiletronauts,” set up shop in an abandoned warehouse in the outskirts of a small town. Armed with rolls upon rolls of toilet paper and a secret stash of extraterrestrial-grade cannabis, they concocted a highly unique business model that would send Earth’s economy into a spin.

Local authorities, initially bewildered by the sudden influx of little green aliens, soon realized that their intentions were far from malevolent. Instead, the Toiletronauts were determined to capitalize on the peculiar combination of toilet paper and cannabis, crafting the perfect smoking experience.

Their top-secret production process involved carefully extracting the finest strands of toilet paper fibers to create ultra-thin rolling papers. These innovative papers, known as “TP Blunts,” were hailed as a breakthrough in both cannabis and toilet paper industries.

As news of the Toiletronauts’ exploits spread, people flocked to their makeshift dispensary to get a taste of the extraterrestrial experience. The demand for TP Blunts reached astronomical levels, surpassing all expectations. Suddenly, toilet paper became the hottest commodity since sliced bread.

Confused shoppers would enter the warehouse, only to find themselves surrounded by stacks of toilet paper rolls and the aroma of interstellar herbs. Some even claimed to have encountered aliens who greeted them with friendly nods and offered “space weed” samples.

Local businesses, caught off guard by the sudden surge in demand for toilet paper, struggled to keep up. Supermarkets ran out of stock faster than they could restock, and people resorted to using leaves, socks, and even empty pizza boxes in the absence of traditional toilet paper.

The Toiletronauts, however, couldn’t have been happier with the chaos they had caused. They laughed from their UFO-like store, seemingly amused by the Earthlings’ frantic search for their beloved TP Blunts.

In the midst of the toilet paper frenzy, a group of concerned citizens rallied together, calling themselves “Toilet Freedom Fighters.” Their mission: to liberate toilet paper from the extraterrestrial grasp and restore order to Earth’s bathroom routines. Armed with plungers and rolls of recycled paper, they set out on their quest, eager to return the planet to its pre-TP Blunt era.

The Toiletronauts, unfazed by the resistance, continued their operations, maintaining that their mission was to spread joy, relaxation, and humor across the galaxy.

As the standoff between the Toilet Freedom Fighters and the Toiletronauts intensifies, Earth remains divided on the peculiar situation. Some see the Toiletronauts as interstellar heroes, delivering a unique and otherworldly experience. Others, however, long for a return to simpler times when toilet paper was used for its intended purpose.

Only time will tell how this comical saga unfolds, but one thing is for certain: the Toiletronauts have left an indelible mark on Earth, forever intertwining toilet paper and cannabis in the annals of bizarre interplanetary entrepreneurship.