GIGANTIC KITTY TERRORIZES DETROIT ON A TUESDAY 7:10 PM
Thomas Elleck REPORTS:
Early on the scene, the Detroit Police were called by concerned citizens of the metro Detroit area just off 8-mile road. Several onlooking cat lovers spotted the giant kitty that was barreling down 8-mile road just past Mount Elliot street near Sherwood. The 9-foot 900 pound blue-eyed feline was reported to be “jonesing” for some catnip pretty hard said one observer.
“That pussy is literally on a rampage” said Antif A’Douche. He continued his statement to the Detroit Police “dat kitty is terrorizing mines hoood!” He seemed upset about the situation.
Furthermore, many Chrysler workers were stating that maybe the kitty just wants that special strain of “Catnip” only found at The REEF Provisioning Center. Its VERY POSSIBLE that the poor kitten was confused by the advertisements. A concerned AWWWWE came from the crowd of union workers across the street. One worker reports in this video coverage. Video
The confused enormus Himalayan cat has a similar appearance and features to the Persian cat. Though, they differ in blue eye color and have white or cream color coats, with a variety of color points resulting from crossing with the Siamese cat. Himalayan cats always have vivid blue eyes, and this one must have been raised in the the GMO cornfields. “Ive never seen such a humungus pussy like that before” stated officer Brownseye. He continued by saying that he has seen some gargantuan pussies on 8-mile, but none this big.
Be on the cover of Michigans most popular tabloid!
Want more? Check out this story about space monkies invading Ann Arbor.