Exploding Provisioning Center Detroit, Michigan
7:10 in the mothalovin mornin’
Bill Azin Reports:
Bright and early this morning residents of the Carbon Works Neighborhood in Detroit were pleasantly surprised at the wake and bake session that they unknowingly were involved in. When they woke up this morning they did not know that they would all be victims of the exploding provisioning center in their neighborhood. Furthermore, that thousands of pounds of cannabis were on fire blazing the whole neighborhood. Everyone woke up high.
Effects on Residents
Baked residents were coming out of their homes and greeting one another with much more friendly attitudes. Old enemies no more, many residents were forgiving each other for past mishaps and shortcomings. People were connecting again, like in the old days during the war. People really come together in tough times and try harder to work with one another and we are seeing this effect on unity in the community.
“We think all the dope was too much for this old building” – Neighborhood President
One theory is due to the massive volume of some of the dankest buds, oil cartridges, and shatter that they moved into the old building just did not have the capacity for all that weight! This was a premier provisioning center that we will all miss. Fortunately, The owners of Stash have made it clear that they will find another building and continue serving the finest nugs to the Michigan Cannabis Community.
After the ground shifted underneath the building the old gas lines could not take the pressure and right after Josh lit his morning joint, immediately the dispensary exploded blasting flaming buds into the streets. Huge hunks of hot molten oil were dripping from the sky like some kind of skunky alien sap from outer space. Hot flaming nugs were found as far as the cemetery across the street! Moon rocks were falling from the sky critically burning several residents.
“I thought we were having an earthquake, to be honest,” said Mario Seman, owner of Stash Detroit.
When he heard cracking and hissing noises from inside his business Seman’s intuition screamed “get everyone out!”
The good news is that everyone is safe and Stash Detroit is already looking for another location to set up shop.