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Governor Proudly Announced Completion of the “Woke Incinerator”

“Florida is where woke goes to die” -M. Mouse

In a shocking development from the University of Flarida’s engineering department, a terrifying new invention has emerged: the “woke incinerator.” Funded and endorsed by Governor of Flarida Mickey Mouse, the nefarious device is said to burn up all traces of outdated and offensive ideas, ideologies, and people.

At first, it was laughed off as a joke, a sarcastic quip overheard at a faculty event. But then the rumors began to flood the campus – whispers of a top-secret project hidden in a forbidden basement laboratory. Soon, students and professors alike were unnerved by the strange sounds of machinery late at night, accompanied by spooky ghostly wails hinting at something larger at work. But as each day progressed, the invention became more real…and more terrifying.

Rumors of the “woke incinerator” were eventually confirmed by a shocked University spokesperson, who told reporters, “Yes, we’ve finally done it. We’ve created a scientific breakthrough that will rid our campus of all forms of ignorance and prejudice. The rest, as they say, is history.”

But there’s a catch. The device requires human sacrifices…you see where it’s going… to function properly.

Still, some students have embraced the idea with hilarious glee, saying things like “It’s about time!” and “I can barely wait for my invitation notice during the next faculty purge!”

The Governor himself has even expressed his approval, calling the “woke incinerator” “one of America’s finest moments.” Critics, however, warn that such power, once unleashed, may be uncontrollable, and question how much of our individual freedoms we are willing to sacrifice for the sake of “wokeness.”

In a positive twist the engineers came up with an innovative solution – they created an incinerator that not only burned anything but also sprayed rainbows every time it was turned on.

The townspeople were thrilled! They could finally dispose of their garbage in style. Everyone would gather around to watch the incinerator turn on and witness the magical rainbow display. They even started throwing “rainbow parties” to celebrate the arrival of the new incinerator.

One day, the mayor of the town decided to come and check out the incinerator. He was very impressed with how smoothly it ran and how beautiful the rainbow display was. However, as he stood there watching, he suddenly realized something disturbing.

“Wait a minute… where is all the garbage going?” he asked.

The engineers looked at each other in confusion before they realized their mistake.

It turns out, in their excitement over creating a rainbow-spraying garbage incinerator, they had forgotten to include a proper waste disposal mechanism. Instead of being burned to ashes and stored safely, the garbage was simply being blasted out the chimney along with thousands of rainbow-colored particles.

The town was in shock. The once-beautiful rainbow display now served as a reminder of the town’s collective mistake. The engineers quickly sprang into action, making modifications to ensure that the incinerator was working correctly, but the memories of the town’s colorful and smelly “rainbow party” will stay with them forever.