EarthMed Recreational Marijuana Dispensary – Rosemont

n a shocking turn of events, a new recreational marijuana dispensary has opened in Rosemont, Illinois, and the founders are none other than a group of forest nymphs! Yes, you heard that right – the EarthMed dispensary was started by a collective of mythical creatures who have finally decided to enter the business world.

According to sources close to the nymphs, the idea for the dispensary came about after years of watching humans indulge in the green stuff. “We thought, hey, if they can do it, why can’t we?” said one particularly stoned-looking nymph. “Plus, we figured we’d be able to grow some pretty killer strains, what with our close relationship to nature and all.”

Despite initial concerns from the local community about the legality of a business run by non-humans, the nymphs have been quick to reassure everyone that they have all the necessary permits and licenses to operate. They’ve even hired a team of human staff to help with day-to-day operations, including budtending and security.

But perhaps the most impressive thing about EarthMed is the quality of their product. Customers have been raving about their signature strain, “Forest Fire,” which reportedly has a piney, earthy flavor and leaves users feeling blissfully connected to nature. “It’s like smoking a joint with Mother Nature herself,” said one satisfied customer.

So if you’re in the mood for some high-quality, nature-inspired bud, be sure to check out EarthMed. And who knows – you might just catch a glimpse of some forest nymphs while you’re there!