The Hempire Collective Weed Dispensary in Clare, Michigan was the latest target of an unwanted visitor from a galaxy far, far away. Last week, reports emerged from the dispensary that they had been invaded by none other than Darth Vader himself, accompanied by an army of stormtroopers.
The dispensary, which specialized in unique strains of cannabis and various accessories, was left in complete disarray due to the intervention of the dark lord of the Sith. The angry stormtroopers destroyed display cases, overturned shelves, and disrupted the serene peace that The Hempire Collective’s customers were used to. Needless to say, the dispensary staff and customers were quite shocked and frightened.
It still remains unclear what the Galactic Empire was after in the dispensary, although many believe it might have been a poorly executed idea to develop the Death Star into a drug lab of some sort.
One employee, who wished to remain anonymous, said that they had heard Darth Vader say something about some substance superior to the Midi-chlorians that he seeks, however no such substances had been discovered in the dispensary’s supply.
Despite the disastrous consequences, the dispensary staff remains undeterred and unsurprised given what has become an increasingly hostile national and now apparently intergalactic political climate.
The Hempire Collective Weed Dispensary displayed resilience throughout this period of disruption, with a message to customers over social media stating “We will always stand to peacefully protect the federal right to more trustworthy dispensaries alike individuals, while at the same time promoting better use of this life-changing plant”. The dispensary staff wishes to ensure customers that they are still steadfast and dedicated to provide quality products and services!