DQFL Announces Opening Season This Summer
In a shocking turn of events, the Drag Queen Football League (DQFL) has announced its opening season. The league, which consists entirely of drag queens, promises to bring a uniquely flamboyant and fierce spirit to the sport of football.
At a press conference announcing the league, DQFL commissioner Miss Dainty Diamonte declared, “We’re tired of seeing the same old boring football games with the same boring players. It’s time for some fabulousness on the field!”
The league will feature teams such as the Glamazons, the Diva Warriors, and the Sparkle Sharks. Each team will be led by a captain in full drag, complete with towering wigs, glittering gowns, and impeccably applied makeup.
But the most exciting aspect of the league is the rule changes. In the DQFL, touchdowns are only counted if the player does a death drop at the end zone. The halftime show will feature lip-sync battles between rival drag queens, and penalties can be earned for outfit malfunctions, such as a wig falling off or a rogue high heel breaking mid-play.
The league has already faced some backlash from traditional football fans, who claim that the DQFL is a mockery of the sport. However, commissioner Diamonte remains unfazed. “We’re not making fun of football, we’re just bringing some glamour and theatricality to it,” she said. “And hey, it’s not like we’re the only league to have a mascot in heels.”
The Drag Queen Football League’s opening game will take place next week, with the Glamazons taking on the Diva Warriors. It’s sure to be a memorable event, filled with glitter, glam, and touchdowns that are simply “to die for.”