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Jade Provisioning Center Welcomes Sleeping Beauty

Last Friday, Sleeping Beauty was seen entering Jade Provisioning Center looking rather beaten down. The staff noticed her as she stumbled through the lobby.  She was feeling rather dazed and confused. The budtender asked “So what brought you in today? Groggily she replied in a soft yet hoarse voice “I not sleeping well, not like I used to, not before the prick.”

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She went on to explain that “Prince Phillip” is no longer a prince. He became an alcoholic, and started hanging out with some kind of clowns from Pontiac.”

According to sources close to the royal family. The prince has reportedly been seen frequenting strip clubs and partying with a group of Insane Clown Posse fans known as the Juggalos. 

The news source has confirmed that “Just Philip” is receiving treatment for alcohol addiction. This is not the first time that Philip has struggled with addiction; he previously battled gambling and substance abuse problems. However, this is the first time that his alcoholism has become public knowledge. It remains to be seen how this will affect his role within the family.

Detroit Edibles

Sleeping beauty had heard about the delicious chocolate that Detroit Edibles uses in their bars and really was excited to see the new Barracuda Dark Chocolate. She went on to say that her next boyfriend will be too. She has some jungle fever and she really loves living in Detroit.

Jade Provisioning Center

She went on to say “I’m not done spending his money yet Darlin” The budtender laughed and recommended a Motor City Banana Nut Brownie for her to help with anxiety and sleep. Sleeping Beauty said she would try it because it looks so delicious. She is hopeful that it will help her get the restful sleep she so desperately needs.

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